sugar you're going down (swinging)
by smileyfacebabe
Summary: Dimitri came closer, hand outstretched. His voice was sweet and sad. When he touched me he was so careful. Dimitri had always been like that, sad and sweet, careful and kind... But now there was another word I could use for him too: Weak. (Shadow Kissed ending AU, Rose POV, spoilers)


Author's Note: Okay, so, this idea was making a mess of my mind for a few days. I finally read the third book and I'm starting the forth today, but I sort of imagined this happened at the end of the third before the caves. Spoilers I guess. Also be warned it's kind of narly because of the way Rose does things and the situation. So rape trigger I guess, just to be safe. Enjoy.

Edit: And yes, this piece's title is a twisted steal-away from FOB. What are you going to do about it?

Disclaimer: I really never meant to write this and I don't own anything.

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"Roza," he said, softly, carefully. He spoke as if trying to near a startled horse or a cornered cat. I heard the ground creak slightly as he shifted his weight forward. The sound was loud in the otherwise quiet, cool air. He came closer, an arm's length away.

"Roza," he said again, louder this time. I pressed my lips together until my teeth pressed against them painfully and curled my hands into such tight fists my fingers shook. The dried blood on my arms was a deep brown in the dim light of the setting sun, but the blood under my nails was pure black in the shadows I curled in. I fought to breathe normally, could barely remember how breathing used to be done. He came close enough to touch if I had turned and reached out.

"Oh Roza," he said, leaning down to me, his voice soft and sad and sweet. His fingers curved feather light over my shoulder as if I was something breakable, something to be treasured and protected. Dimitri's voice broke a little bit on my name and his grip on my shoulder became a little tighter, pulling at me. He was so careful, so kind, so trusting… So weak and easily fooled.

I had him on his back as the sun slipped beneath the horizon, casting the little cabin into the murk of twilight. The shock and surprise on his face were a priceless treat, his lips parting in a silent repetition of my name again. Then horror crept across his eyes, sinking down into his expression completely like the icing on the cake as I gave him a wide grin.

"What's wrong, Dimitri," I asked, tracing my fingertip across his cheeks. "Aren't you happy to see me? Aren't you relieved I'm alive?"

"Rose," he choked out, looking miserable and hurt. "Oh Rose, you're not alive-"

Temper flared in me, hot and vicious. I had a hand around his windpipe, squeezing the rest of that sentence away before he could blink. I leaned forward, my other hand still tracing his jaw line slowly, and gave him by best little pout.

"What happened to _Roza_," I asked, all sugar sweet and mockingly sad. "I like it when you call me that."

Dimitri's heart pounded, I could hear it but what was more I could feel it through the pulse point in his neck. I leaned close and though Dimitri opened his mouth to speak he uttered no more. He went still underneath me and his eyes were dark and sad, so endlessly sad. I tutted at him quietly, pressing closer to him, taking in the way he smelled. He had always smelled good to me, but now it was like a drug, like I couldn't get enough. I pressed my nose into the crooked of his neck, feeling him stiffened against me as I began to talk.

"You should be happy for me," I scolded him, the same way he had always been scolding me. I pressed a light kiss against his pulse point and found it hard to pull away, the call of his blood almost too sweet. "I'm strong now, strong enough that no one will hurt me. I'm fast, too," I reminded him, moving up to kiss under his jaw. I pressed two kisses there and then one higher up on his jaw line, toward his mouth. "And think about it this way," I coaxed, hovering over his mouth, my head tilted so that I could see his eyes, "I'll live forever. Don't you want me to live forever?" I paused before a smile stole across my lips and I tangled the hand not around his throat into his hair, stroking the shell of his ear with my thumb. "You could live forever with me," I offered.

For a few seconds Dimitri said nothing. But then his mouth opened, a small indiscernible noise coming out of it. Curious, I released my grip on his throat, moving to rest my hand on his collarbone. Dimitri reached up and threaded a hand through my air, his big hand cradling the back of my head. His eyes were sad and his voice cracked when he whispered my name. But then he moved.

That move wouldn't have worked even before I was turned, my training kicking in so that when he rolled us I used the momentum and my strength to keep us rolling. It would have been a close thing before, my strength pitted against his much larger and stronger frame, but now? Now it was like batting a fly out of the air. Dimitri's back hit the ground with so much force his breath all but vanished and my temper kicked to life again like a forest fire.

"What happened to loving me?" I hissed, fingers sliding around his throat once more. "What happened to 'I'll always be by your side, Rose'?" Dimitri began to choke and instead of backing off I pressed harder, until his eyes were wide and his face was red. A hundred other things to say flew through my mind, but in the end the same nature that had made my name a curse among my instructors won out.

"I'll show you," I whispered, nose against his jaw line. "And once you have joined me, we'll go get Lissa." Dimitri's eyes were dark, panic rising, beating down the sadness until there was nothing but fear and panic. His heartbeat thundered in my ears and under my hand. I ran my tongue over my fangs, leaning in until my lips brushed his neck. "We'll be safe and together forever." He tried to buck, tried to roll us again, but I was too strong and he was too weak.

I bit him. His struggles stopped almost immediately and the sounds that slipped from him were of pleasure. He moaned quietly, out of his mind with the feeling, and to be honest I wasn't doing much better. Feeding was _so good_, his blood delicious in a way I couldn't describe. The more I drank the stronger I felt, the more powerful and dangerous and unstoppable. I lost myself in the taste, until suddenly the thundering in my ears stopped. I drew back, dizzy, temporarily confused, my body tingling strangely, to find Dimitri was dead.

Annoyance lit me up like a firework. There had to be a way to turn someone after death, but I was too new to know what it was. I scowled, a pout pulling at my lower lip, this one sullen instead of flirty. The dusky light of twilight disappeared slowly as Dimitri's body grew colder and colder beneath me. Anger started to lick at me, dark and awful, my fingers curling into claws. I had wanted us to stay together, we could keep Lissa safe, we could travel the world, but my impatience and inexperience with drinking blood had foiled that plan. But then two things occurred to me, back to back with lightning speed.

I felt full, like I had eaten too much Halloween candy, fit to burst but energized to go rampage around. This meant that I would be less likely to drain Lissa completely without turning her, the way I had Dimitri. The second was that maybe it was better this way. I wouldn't get to spend the rest of our immortal lives together, that was true, but this way Dimitri would always be mine. No one could take him away from me now, not since I had already done the job.

A smile tugged at my lips. I tipped forward and pressed a bloody kiss against Dimitri's still lips. I cradled his jaw briefly before standing up, wiping my mouth with the back of my wrist before wiping my hands on my pants. Without a backward glance I set off for the Academy, leaving the little cabin and my mentor behind.

"Don't worry Lissa," I whispered. "I'm coming."


End file.
